As a kid, when Santa came to my house I'm pretty sure he dropped off ALL the children's toys and games under our tree and then went home – NOT so minimalist Christmas.
I never minded, of course. A massive dump truck worth of wrapped presents brought so much joy on Christmas morning. But after tearing open the gifts, I would always feel a little empty, like all of the thrill and anticipation had left me with a lot of loot but not an equivalent amount of satisfaction.
Fast-forward a couple of decades when it came time for Santa to leave presents for my own kids. Naturally it seemed like excess was the only way. But then I remembered the post-Christmas-morning-blues, and I started to consider what it all means.
The whole point of Santa Claus is bringing magic, hope, and light to the darkest time of year
Did you know that the average American spent $271 per child last year on Christmas gifts alone? This is an average with many families spending much, much more. Now, I'm all for supporting the economy, but I don't think buying boat-loads of plastic toys from China are really going to help. And a bunch of holiday debt is certainly no way to start the new year with hope and optimism. So…
Here's my 3 step plan to an minimalist Christmas…
I promise that you won't turn green and grinchy if you follow along, but you just may find the simple joys of the holiday without all the clutter.
#1 – Give less presents
A new plan for us this year for the kids' presents, we will be instituting Santa's new 4-gift plan. Each child will receive:
Something they want
Something they need
Something to wear
Something to read
Though a minimalist at heart, this will be challenging for me since I've been particularly attached to the tower of gifts as a Christmas morning staple. I'm hoping this new tradition will begin to cultivate more appreciation for the individual presents (as well as save Santa a few bucks too!)
While we're on the topic of less presents, I highly suggest initiating a “Pollyanna” gift exchange (a.k.a. Secret Santa) in any group that gifts are typically exchanged – including office and big family get-togethers. If you're not familiar with this tradition, everyone pulls a name in advance (sometimes with a wish list) and a price range of gifts is set by the group. On the given day, each person receives one gift. Brilliant minimalism.
Finally, just because it's the season of giving does not mean that you need to give everyone you know a gift. Smiles, hugs, and time spent over a cup of tea are wonderful ways to share in the holiday spirit.
#2 – Don't go shopping
… Especially to the mall! This is a rule that I've followed for years now, and I find that it really takes the anxiety and pressure out of the gift giving experience. Rather than risking road rage in the mall parking lots, my family does most of our shopping online or in small local stores. For unavoidable commercial purchases you can't beat Amazon.com Prime and their free two day shipping with Amazon Prime
For more unique gifts, I LOVE Etsy.com – where I have purchased everything from personalized napkin rings, iPad cases, and wall art to vintage table cloths, handmade dolls, and gorgeous Christmas ornaments. Can't decide? Get a a gift card!
If you've got the time and interest, you can always make your own presents – here's a great list of homemade holiday gift ideas to get your started – just make sure you don't take on more than you can handle, which definitely defeats the point of a minimalist Christmas.
#3 – Just say no
This may sound simple, but it's really the most challenging and most essential part of practicing a minimalist Christmas.
In order to do this right, first ask yourself – Is this thing/activity/obligation important to ME and my family?
If baking cookies seems like a holiday essential, but you dread the effort and mess… SKIP IT.
If you throw a big Christmas party every year and end up stressed and drained because of it… CANCEL IT THIS YEAR.
Guess what… You don't have to send Christmas cards. Really, this is true.
Instead, send out one short and sweet email to everyone on your list saying:
Dear So-and-so,
This year I've decided to dedicate as much time as possible to enjoying the holidays with my family.
So, don't be sad, but you won't be receiving my Christmas card this year to adorn your mantle. I still love/like/appreciate you just as much, and I hope your holiday is merry and bright!
Emily [<– your name here]
Whether you don't really want to trim your entire house in lights or you can't bear the thought of shlepping it through airports this holiday season, YOU HAVE A CHOICE!
For me, I love to geek-out on decorations, bake some cookies, visit Santa for pictures, and play just a touch of holiday tunes.
Figure out what will make your season warm and bright, and celebrate a minimalist Christmas this year. My guess – there's going to be a lot more jolly to show for it come Boxing Day.
Does this mean I won’t be getting a Christmas card from you this year? 😉
Dear JoAnne,
This year I’ve decided to dedicate as much time as possible to enjoying the holidays with my family.
So, don’t be sad, but you won’t be receiving my Christmas card this year to adorn your mantle. I still love and appreciate you just as much, and I hope your holiday is merry and bright!
Emily 😉
IF you are going to send a note saying you are not sending a Christmas Card, why not just sent the card????
Emily, I thought you might like to know that I am gifting jars of your whipped body butter to my sisters and good friends this year.
We are starting what we call “mindful gratitude” in our household for the holiday season. We focus on cultivating love for each other, sending love and light out into the world, and showing our gratitude for our family and friends for the year of amazing and supportive companionship by sending homemade gifts that offer nourishment (and won’t collect dust!).
Love your writing!
I love this comment, are you able to get the children in your family interested in this practice and un-obsessed with getting gobs of toys?
Hi!. I just read your comments, and I thin I will copy your list for presents. I have always disliked shopping at the malls and such. I am crafty and creative, so I make Christmas for all 22 grand children and try to do something for all 10 kids. (Busy family!) I do think that people have become engrossed in the hype and spending of the season and need to get back to the beauty and joy. My grown children’s memories of Christmas past is about the family, food music and such, not the boxes under the tree, even the home made stuff!! Thank you for sharing your ideas, and I am new to holistic squid, but I like it. Getting more and more ways to live clean and healthy. Bless you!!
forgot to say I have 2 great grands also!
Be free of Christmas cards! That is such a good reminder! I started doing an e-mail christmas card through smile box. It’s done in one day, it’s totally cute and I love hearing comments from friends and family! Thanks for another great article, Em!
LOVE, LOVE!!!!! Reading your site ….. This one
is my new favorite.
Just had baby # 3 and with no sleep was feeling
More stressed than usual .
I love the minimalist holiday plan.
Most definitely like the sending holiday card idea!
Thank you !!!
This is such a great topic and something I’ve been striving for for years now but can’t seem to make happen. The problem is actually other people outside our nuclear family. My husband and I did only specific shopping, made no cookies this year, had minimalist decorations, no parties, no cards, etc., and just two gifts for each child (one fun gift, one item of clothing) and one group toy/ gift, oh and stockings for the kids. It was all very manageable and pleasant until our very generous and well-meaning extended family got there with the proverbial “boat-loads of plastic toys.” Our simple family gift-opening ceremony where everyone cared about what everyone else was getting, turned into complete pandemonium with presents being passed and ripped open faster than I could even watch, let alone keep track of. I got stressed out, even depressed afterward about how completely un-meaningful and obscene it was. It seems no matter how hard I try to reduce seasonal obligations and focus on family and quality time with each other, it turns into this horror movie. We are thinking about taking a trip next year so we can have a more adventurous type of Christmas experience and won’t be bombarded with other people’s expectations. But I imagine they would just wait for us to get back so we can have a belated “proper” Christmas. I can’t figure out any way at all to get this message out to our extended family. When I’ve even mentioned the idea of minimalist life with less stuff in general, I get comments and looks that suggest I’m depriving or even psychologically damaging the children. Does anyone have any ideas on how to deal with this inundation? And how to get the children re-focused?
Jessa, I completely understand and empathize with you! I have, unfortunately, gotten to the point where I don’t even like Christmas any more because of very similar experiences. As a society, we have gotten so far away from the truth of what Christmas is about. I wish I could give some profound advice, but I’m afraid I’m in the same boat as you (packed with all those meaningless toys!). I feel like the best thing I can do is continue to teach my kids, year-round, about the difference between need vs. want, giving to those in need, and how to have a heart for others instead of self. It’s a gift that cannot be measured in boat-loads!
It’s nice to cut down on gifts, I’ve always thought Christmas is too stressful and over the top. It’s easy to order from Amazon, too, but as a member of a local artists’ co-op, I’d like to point out that shopping locally for hand made gifts is doubly rewarding: you support LOCAL businesses and save all the packaging and so forth that comes with online or mail order purchases.
Hi Emily,
I loved this post. Especially the easy to remember Santa 4 gift plan, that’s very helpful! I’m glad to be a part of a family that is mostly happy going minimalist these days, but sometimes fear for my kids reactions in a few years to what their peers say after Christmas. I sometimes consider equipping them with witty one-liner responses like, “my parents love me so they spend time with me instead of trying to buy my love” but I realize that’s a pretty absurd thing to tell a 4-year-old to say to his classmates. I think I just need to make sure that we as a family discuss on a regular basis what we are celebrating and why presents are just a small part of the wonderful season that Christmas is. Luckily for now my children seem most excited about all the activities of Christmas, from putting up lights to making treats to decorating the house. As long as we all feel like we’re focused on relaxing and enjoying each other’s company then I think we’ll come out of the holiday season energized for a new year and full of love and joy! Thanks for the nice minimalist suggestions, and have a great holiday season!
What I have done this year is sell the kids toys on craigslist that aren’t being played with anymore and I am buying them toys off there. It is amazing what you can find.
For years my family (Mom, brother, myself and our spouses) have done a Pollyanna where we have a spending limit of $20 and you have to make a gift for the person you choose. It always makes for a Christmas gift exchange where you are more excited to give your gift than to get one! Now I make my children 1 gift every year. Although, I do cave and buy some plastic toys from China, they all come from small toy shops, no big box stores. This year we also pushed ourselves to buy only from small businesses… we failed with electronics though. Hard to find somewhere that is family owned to buy electronics. My husbands family still showers my kids with TONS of toys (isn’t it always the in-laws). What I do every year is make sure that we have our own time to exchange with no one else around. Then I get my meaningful family time, and I just sit back and giggle at my in-laws house when my kids get bored opening gifts after a few and complain that they just want to play with the first toy they opened. Kids are AWESOME!!!
Great reminders!
This year I’ll be giving FEWER presents, rather than LESS. “Less” is the correct term if you cannot possibly count the amount. And since even a dump-truck worth of presents can be counted, any short of that means “fewer”.
There. A little grammar gift for you!
I love this idea! I too grew up with the boat loads of gifts and simply do not want to set that president for my kids. Ain’t nobody got time or money to get all that stuff that will only get played with for a short time… And Santa and his presents is not the point of Christmas! Anyway, if these 4 gifts are from Santa, do you also get the kids gifts from mom and dad??
We tried this last year with my daughter, and it was PERFECT. She’s 3, and understood she could ask for one thing from each “category.” She was also told she could ask Santa for “something big” and a few little things for her stocking.
We threw in another element though: to make sure she had room for her new toys and clothes, she had to give up a few she no longer played with so some other kids who didn’t have as many toys could use them.
She received a book, a new shirt with her favorite character on it, a wooden train, and new toothbrush from us, a canvas teepee from Santa (along with some pencils, drawing pads, and candy). It was the perfect amount of stuff to where she got that “omg it’s CHRISTMAS NEW STUFF” excitement, but not so much she (or myself!) felt overwhelmed.
The only hard part: getting her grandparents to only get her one gift each. My mom snuck a few extras in, but we had made sure she donated enough of her old stuff to make room. I knew her grandmother wouldn’t be able to resist 🙂
Anyway, great post! I love this idea and will definitely be using it every year for all my kids.
I love this… And also a great way to get the in laws to go along with it is instead of them showering your child with loads of gifts to ask for them to give your child a gift to go do something as a family for example a gift card to chukie cheese or the movies this helps a lot and it’s nice to make memories as a family
I love the idea of minimalizing Christmas. It has gotten so commercialized that it is just too stressful. It is as though your love for the recipient is measured by the gifts they get.
I feel that less is better and quality over quantity is definitely better.
Thank you for this article and thank you all for your comments. Great minds think alike. 🙂